Secrets
by Ashr02
Summary: Lukas comes back home one day to find the Dane crying his eyes out. This surprises him at first, but as he goes on the quest to try and find out what's wrong and make him feel better, he discovers some secrets about Matthias that he'd been trying to hide for 13 years.
1. Problem

Lukas stood outside their bedroom, listening to Matthias' crying. He'd been crying his eyes out for over half an hour. Every minute or so Lukas would hear his cries break apart, Matthias would apparently get frustrated, and he'd just cry harder. This was too abnormal to be considered a one-time thing. Matthias' eternal grin would shine through even the bleakest situations, he found it hard to believe that anything would cause him to feel this depressed. Which is why his heart skipped a beat whenever Matthias' cries became a bit louder.

"Matthias, please. Open up." Lukas said, he knocked on the door a couple times, but he was met with more crying. Why did he just break apart like this? Did something happen? Or was he bottling this up for a while? No, no..If he was bottling it up, he would never hide something this important from him..would he?

"Matthias! Open up or I'll break this door" Lukas warned, Matthias didn't seem to stop. So Lukas tried again, hoping he'd get through to him.

"Matthias! I mean it! Open the door!" This was one of the uncommon occasions where there was nothing but emotion in Lukas' voice. He hoped that breaking his monotone routine would send the proper message, but alas, it failed. He had no choice, he could replace the door, he could treat his leg were anything happen to it, he could fix anything, but Matthias..

"Matt!" Lukas yelled, he ran over to the bed, where he saw the Dane draped in blankets crying into a pillow. That was by far the most pathetic sight he'd seen. Matthias was strong, happy, he'd never admit he's wrong or to a problem, to see him like this..however, in retrospect, this was probably what caused this outburst in the first place.

"Matt, Matt, are you listening?" He said as rubbed the 20 year-old Dane's hair. He noticed a small nod into the pillow, and decided to take that as a yes.

"Come on, I'll make you some tea" He tried to move Matthias to the kitchen, but he refused to move, and just kept crying. This was extremely disheartening, what could've happened that would've resulted in such a reaction from him? It's just difficult to believe..

"Matthias, please, talk to me" Lukas tried to sound as less monotone as possible, and he seemed to succeed, because the Dane seemed to put an effort into trying to stop the tears.

A minute passed, two minutes passed..an hour had passed until Lukas finally managed to calm Matthias down.

"There, see?" He said, Matthias finally decided to sit up and drink the tea Lukas made him. When he first sat up Lukas stared directly into his eyes. Red. That was all he could see, his eyes were so red and puffed up from all the crying that Lukas had to fight back the tears himself.

"Matthias, are you going to talk to me? What happened?" He asked, this time in a more serious tone. Matthias sniffled a bit and shook his head. He was rubbing his eyes a bit too much, Lukas decided to try and move him to the bathroom to wash up a bit, after about 10 minutes, he succeeded in moving him. The cold water splashed on Matthias' face, it seemed to bring him back to reality a bit. Just a tiny bit.

"Feeling better?"

"Y-Yeah.." Lukas mentally smiled. This was the first thing he said to him in hours, he knew that if he persisted he could break down that pathetic shield of sorrow that the Dane tried to put up.

"Are you going to talk to me?" Lukas felt as if he was talking to a child, but to be fair, this was Matthias, he was as child-like as any 20-year old can get. He waited for a while until he shook his head again. He sighed.

"Come on" He dragged him to the living room and sat him on the sofa, Matthias just hugged his legs. He would've went in bed with him, but the pillow was full of tears, he wondered if Matthias was dehydrated..

"Relax will you?" He said. He sat down next to him and decided to see if a little contact would help. He hugged his chest. The first thing that took him by surprise was how fast Matthias' heart was beating. It was like a drum, he could feel the heat radiating from him.

"Shh, whatever it is you're worrying about, it's nothing that can't be fixed" Lukas said. It seemed to calm the Dane down as he uncurled from his position and hugged him back. He would've told him that he was almost crushing him, but he tried to avoid saying anything that could make him feel bad. Matthias just held tighter and tighter to him. They spent the next 20 minutes in each others' arms looking at the snow's barrage of the capital in absolute silence.

So, will you tell me what happened? No, that'd be too demanding. Matthias, you know I care about you, so please, tell me what's wrong? No, no, that's too soft. There had to be a way to find out what's wrong without having to hurt his feelings. Matthias maybe happy-go-lucky, but he was quite sensitive.

"Are you alright now?" Lukas said softly. Matt nodded with a lot more energy than before. After a minute of thinking, Lukas decided that Matt probably doesn't want to talk about this now or anytime in the near future, so he'd leave it for now.

"Maybe we should go to bed, Ok?" He asked. Matthias didn't seem to respond, but followed him nevertheless. Lukas replaced the pillows and jumped in with Matthias. During entire night Matthias keeps kicking and punching. He got punched a bit too much, so he decided to just sit down for a while until the Dane calmed down. God..what happened?

Lukas came back home a little late to find him in his room like that, what could've happened in the 2 hours that he didn't talk to him that could've caused him to be like this. What's worse is, Matthias kicked him about 5 times in his sleep. The Dane was pretty fit, so a hit to the stomach was quite painful. This was a surprise because Matthias would-normally-be a pretty heavy sleeper, though, sometimes he'd go a bit insane and kick and punch in his sleep, but those weren't common. Still..

"Morning" Said Matthias.

"Morning" He said as he rubbed his eyes. He barely got any sleep last night. Between the kicking and hugging to death, there were a few moments of relative peace that he managed to sleep between, but still. Wait, Matthias?

"How're you feeling?" Lukas asked curiously. It was quite a sight, just yesterday he was crying his eyes out and could barely move.

"I'm great! How 'bout you? I was thinking we could do something on our off day today, it's getting boring. Plus the snow doesn't help. Oh! I know! How about a bar…..maybe we could even go to a…." Lukas zoned in and out between Matthias' rambling. He was just too tired to care, whatever Matthias was worried about seems to have left his mind, he still needs to question this further, but until then, some sleep would do him well.

"Hey? Are you listening?"

Ok, so first chapter's just an introduction to the problem, I promise the next chapters will be longer. This is my first time writing romance, and Norway's attitude isn't exactly easy to write. So forgive me if anything's OOC. Thanks


	2. Secrets

There was a surreal smell of alcohol in the air. Matthias loved this bar, and Lukas had to admit, the furniture and hygiene of the place was pretty breath-taking. The only downside to this place was that slightly-insane Swedish bar-owner whom Matthias fought with every time he saw him.

"Then I thought I could totally punch him in the face, but I remembered that he's my boss and decided against it, but then I thought..so I….but then.." Lukas stared at Matthias, he zoned out most of his rambling, trying to think. Matthias was on the borderline of yelling, moving his beer around, smiling like a madman. Hard to believe just yesterday he had trouble getting up.

"You know, maybe you should lower your voice a bit?" Lukas asked calmly, which just caused the Dane to laugh quite obnoxiously, as he put his arm around the Norwegian and dragged him towards him.

"Oh come on Babe! Why don't you have a drink for a change?" Matthias said as he placed his jug of beer in front of Lukas' face, offering him a drink. Alcohol was never really his thing, the smell, the intoxication, it all seemed a bit much, after all, his alcohol tolerance was quite poor. He rarely drank, only a couple times per year. Matthias on the other hand adored the stuff, it was his bread and butter. It may seem childish, but alcohol sort of made him feel mature and stronger.

"First, don't call me 'babe'" Lukas said 'babe' with disgust, they may be together but that was hardly a valid excuse for such cliched honourifics. "Second of all, you know I don't drink" Lukas said as He swatted the drink offered to him.

"Please? Just this once?" He begged, his voice sounded so whiney. Lukas decided to accept a little sip, which seemed to excite the Dane to the point of cheering.

"So, what do you think?" He asked enthusiastically. Lukas tried to avoid making a face of disgust when he took the sip, and decided that he should at least lie a bit, seeing how it's Matthias' favourite beer. Lukas was trying to be more compliant considering the events that transpired last night.

"Uh, good, I guess." The Norwegian said. He hesitated a bit, looking at Matthias for a while before the Dane jumped out of his seat and danced a bit before taking another large sip of his beer. Lukas decided that Matthias may have drank a bit too much, and dragged him to the car, listening to the Dane's intoxicated statements.

"But like, I was, thinking about it, and then, that thing with the thing, told me not to, but then…" Lukas noticed that Matthias seemed to have fell asleep..Great. Just bloody perfect, how is he expected to carry him? After a minute of thinking, Lukas improvised a bit and dragged him to their home. He threw him on the bed and collapsed near him, panting. It wasn't that Matthias was fat or anything, he was quite easy to carry, on the contrary, it was him. He was too slim and rather out of touch with his athletic side to be capable of carrying anything, let alone anyone. So he changed his and Matthew's clothes, and had to fight back his urge to look anywhere…inappropriate. Though, to be fair, if Matthias was awake, he'd probably try to be as inappropriate as possible. He finished and jumped into bed again.

Lukas looked to his side to see Matthias sleeping. Then suddenly, he saw the dane move his hand around him, and wrap his arms and legs around him. It seemed as if he was asleep. Lukas didn't appreciate being treated like his doll, but granted, it did feel a little good..

"Ughh" Matthias groaned. Lukas opened his eyes, he saw Matthias with a troubled look plastered where his grin should be. He held on tighter and tighter to the Norwegian, Lukas was beginning to notice a pattern.

"Matthias, wake up." He said, and waited for a response. He eventually got too tired and just punched him in the stomach. That seemed to wake him up. When he woke up he seemed confused as evident by him looking around as if he was in a test lab.

"Nightmare?"

"Ahuh"

"Ok that's it." Lukas said. He sat up angrily and scowled at the Dane. "Listen, whatever it is that's bothering you, you need to tell me, remember how you spent months trying to ask me out? Remember how I said yes? Well good, because that's good enough reason to tell me what's been bothering you."

Matthias looked at him for a while, trying to find the proper response.

"I'm sorry..I can't..I just.." Matthew avoided looking into Lukas' eyes, and tried to feign happiness, but Lukas caught on. However, he tried not to be offended when he rejected telling him, but he couldn't help it. Though, he didn't show it of course, he was the master of masking his emotions.

"Fine. Will you go back to sleep then?" He asked, and was met with a nod. Lukas pretended to ignore it, however, he wasn't about to give up that easily. The first thing he'd do when he woke up would be pay Matthias' family and friends a visit, he'd find out everything that's bothering him and try to put an end to this. He was supposed to be smiling, he should've hugged him trying to get in his pants and laugh it off when Lukas wouldn't be in the mood. That was the perverted, happy-go-lucky Matthias he knew.

That settles it. He had to know, he just had to. If it's anything he said..wait, could it be something he said? Yes, granted, Lukas did insult Matthias quite often, but he assumed that both of them knew that he didn't really mean it, right? He'd known Matthias ever since he was 9. He should've..no, it couldn't be his fault. It just couldn't. But if it was..could he ever forgive himself?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Listen, Matthias. I'm going out today, I have to go shopping" Lukas said, putting on his raincoat. The snow was getting worse. They probably needed to get some food and supplies in case they get snowed in.

"Aww, do you have to? I thought since it was all snowing we could watch a move and be all romantic and stuff" Matthias said hopefully, he knew full-well of the consequences of arguing with Lukas.

"Unless you'd rather starve to death, sure, why not?" Lukas assumed that it would be the end of that conversation and grabbed the keys, but was stopped when the Dane began speaking.

"If it's with you I'll be OK" Lukas blushed a bit. He rarely got complimented, the only person who ever showered him with compliments was Matthias, which is why this was all new to him.

"What-" Lukas' voice was a little affected by Matthias' previous statement, so he coughed a bit, hoping to shake it off. "Whatever. Goodbye then" With that he left. He didn't really lie, he did have a lot of shopping to do, but he was planning to spend at least an hour or two in his parents' place to at try and figure out what was going on in peace.

The shopping took a bit longer than expected, Lukas got a bit stalled at the cash register. Some annoying guy with a cat was chatting with the cashier. Lukas got pretty annoyed at him. But some other black-haired guy behind him seemed like he was about to stab someone. After he finished his shopping, he dropped everything off at home, oh, his old home. He visited his parents every week or two, they lived close by, so it wasn't that much of a hassle. When Lukas entered, he was met with the stoic glare of his younger brother. Emil.

"Hey"

"Hey.."

Emil and Lukas stared at each other, almost like they were trying to set each other on fire. This was a common feature of Lukas' family. They were all stoic, emotionless most of the time, and relatively serious. However, out of all the people he was related to, the one person that was practically identical to him was Emil. Which is why they barely had to say anything to each other, they knew what the other was thinking.

"So, what's new?" Emil asked, looking up at his 'big' brother. Emil was 8 years younger than Lukas, he was his half-brother, but Emil probably could pass off as his fraternal twin if he got a bit taller.

"Nothing, I just need to make some calls, work a bit."

"So, what'd he do this time?" Emil asked, most likely referring to Matthias. Emil didn't exactly like him, hell, if anything he despised him, but he never said anything about it. Whenever Lukas would come home for some work when Matthias had something to do, he'd always jump to conclusions and assumed he dumped him.

"Nothing, I just need to work a bit." That sentence seemed to disappoint him. "Are Mom and Dad home?" Lukas asked, sounding slightly annoyed. He tried as best as he could to get Emil to talk to or at least tolerate Matthias, but every attempt ended in failure. So he just decided to keep the two apart for now.

"Nope, I have homework, will you help me?" Emil asked, he went and grabbed his notebooks a couple seconds before I could even say 'yes', which led him back to that whole twins theory.

"How about you finish your Math homework first?" Lukas said, looking at his huge Math book underneath everything. Emil was quite the little prodigy when it came to Math, he never needed any help. "I'll help you when you get to science." Emil sighed and sat over at the couch. Now with such a divine talent something else had to be taken from Emil. That was his common sense in science. Which was-surprisingly-Lukas' favourite subject. So he'd help him out whenever he could, but until Emil could finish that huge load of worksheets, Lukas can work on Matthias' problem a bit. But where to start…Where to start..Family. Yes, this'll be a difficult one. But that's a good place to look for problems in Matthias' life.

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Ok, so, what do you think so far? I'm going to upload one chapter everyday, I'll try to keep them all around 2000 words, or higher.


	3. Discovery

"Yeah..yeah sure..Ok, bye." With that, Lukas hung up the phone. He had just finished conversing with his parents, they were going to ask him to take care of Emil for a few days because they were snowed in whilst in Oslo and had to stay at a hotel. To which he reluctantly accepted. He didn't exactly want to put Matthias and Emil in the same room, but he had no choice.

"Ok, Emil. Mom and Dad are stuck in Oslo, the snowstorm is apparently worse over there, so you'll be staying with us for a couple days" Lukas yelled. However, he gasped at the realisation of using the pronoun 'us'.

"With you and '_him_'? Great.." Emil just frowned a bit and went back to scribbling on his notebook, trying to finish his Math homework. Lukas sighed a bit, and sat back down. Maybe he should call Matthias' parents. He already told him that he was visiting his parents' place for a while, and when Matthias offered to come, he reminded him that they probably wouldn't have returned from Oslo yet, and only Emil would be home. The prospect frightened him. Matthias always tried to be a gentlemen around Emil, he's abstain from any inappropriate nicknames or stories relating to Lukas, but he sometimes got carried away, and got a little too obnoxious for Emil.

"Yes? Hello, it's me, Luka-" Lukas couldn't even finish his sentence before Matthias' father hung up. Needless to say, they weren't very approving of their life-style. Matthias never really liked them, as a kid he'd spend most of his time at Lukas' place, or just at the park. One would only see him home when a couple hours a day. However, this was highly unlikely to be what was bothering him. Matthias made frequent jokes about them, he pretty much just hated them. He never took anything they said to heart. Though, to be fair, Matthias hasn't spoken to them since he graduated high school-which was 2 years ago.

"Hello Tino? Yes. It's me. So, I wanted to ask you something" Tino was Lukas' Finnish friend, he was friends with that Swedish guy Matthias always fought with. What was his name again…Ah, right, Tino. "Yes, I wanted to ask you about Matthias, has he been acting different lately?"

"i see. Ok, thank you. Bye." Lukas hung up. Tino was pretty much clueless. Right as he was considering who to call next he noticed the snow getting worse and worse, and immediately looked at Emil.

"Emil, the snow's getting pretty bad. Grab your things, we're going." Lukas hurriedly said. Emil quickly grabbed his backpack, coat, and video-game and quickly followed Lukas to the car.

"Are you cold?" Lukas asked. He noticed Emil shiver a bit when they entered the car.

"No, it's ok" Emil replied. Trying to ignore the fact that he'd eventually be stuck in the same house as that bumbling idiot. It's not that he didn't like Matthias. Well, actually, it was because he didn't like him. He despised him. What was he supposed to do? The guy was annoying, obnoxious, loud, and worse of all, he's the reason Lukas had to move away. If that moron never met Lukas he'd still with him.

"Are you OK?" Lukas asked, noticing the obvious disgusted face of the-almost-12 year old. It's not his fault this happened, it's not like he could keep him or Matthias home alone. Neither of them can cook for their lives.

"Yeah, I guess." Emil just looked down and hugged his backpack. He sunk his head in it. Why does that stupid Danish moron have to butt into his life? As he was thinking of places to hide Matthias' body, Emil noticed Lukas signalling to go out. He ran through the thick layer of snow and into the house. He was then followed by Lukas who was carrying the groceries. He never understood how he could ever handle the cold without flinching. Emil was quite accustomed to the cold yes, he could handle it quite well too, but nothing like how well Lukas could.

"Matt, I'm home. I brought-" Lukas stopped mid-sentence, he noticed the Dane on the couch naked, with a blanked covering his…private parts. There were candles everywhere. Lukas quickly put his hand to prevent Emil from advancing further, the hallway covered the traumatic experience that he would have.

"Emil, go back to the car and get me put this on the front seat will you? He handed him random stack of papers that he hoped would give him enough time to clean all this up. With almost lighting quick speed, he ran into the after Emil left.

"Matthias. Emil's here, clean this up and put on some clothes" He hurriedly said, blowing out candles whilst pushing the naked Dane upstairs, trying hard not to stare at his behind. It seemed to be enough time to vaporise anything indecent that could scar Emil for life.

"Ok, I put it there." Emil said. Suddenly, the Dane barged in, wearing his sweater and Lukas' pants. He must've gotten confused and hurriedly grabbed it by mistake. He hoped..

"Hey! Emil Buddy! How're you today?" He said jumping down the stairs. He got dressed as quickly as he could undress. Emil however, just glared at him, sending him that 'I know how to move dead bodies' look.

"Good" He answered coldly. Emil then sat down on the couch and took out his 3DS. He began playing that Fire Emblem game Lukas got him for his birthday. Matthias may have been shot down, but he wasn't about to give up just yet.

"So, what'cha doing?" He asked, putting his hand on Emil's shoulder.

"Don't touch me" Emil said rather loudly. It was still monotone, but nevertheless loud. He then pushed Matthias a bit. It wasn't a strong push, but it was enough to send quite the message to Matthias' system, because he immediately had that depressed look on his face, and excused himself, going up to his room.

"Emil, I'll be right back, after this we need to talk." Lukas said, going up the stairs. Emil just curled himself on the couch, trying to block out Lukas' words. Why was he angry at him anyways? It's not like he did anything bad, he just doesn't like people to touch him. Especially that asshole.

"Matthias, Matthias..What's wrong?"Lukas asked, Matthias was lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

"Nothing, I'm just a little tired." Lukas got pretty angry at that, and began yelling.

"You weren't tired when you were naked on the couch a minute ago!" He yelled, not caring if Emil heard them. "I'm not going to ask again! Why the hell were you crying? I'm not leaving until you tell me!" Lukas said, feeling as if he's about to jump at the Dane and choke him to death. He waited a minute, he knew that Matthias would tell him everything after this. It was just a matter of how long would it take for him to talk.

"I'm sorry..I thought that it was pointless, so I sort of kept it from you."

"Yeah. Sort of" Lukas said.

"Can you please close the door?" Matthias said, Lukas went over and closed it, suddenly he remembered what transpired a minute ago when he yelled at Matthias about being naked..is it possible that Emil heard them? No..he couldn't could he? It's ok, he has to get over it either way.

"Thanks."

"Ok, so?" Lukas said. He usually was a patient person, but in this case, patience was not at the tip of his tongue.

"When I was 7, I was playing with a couple friends" Matthias said, obviously trying as to feign as if nothing is wrong. "I was playing outside, then, some guy approaches me, he asks me to come with him and I refuse. He insists and I yell a bit, telling him not to touch me. After that.." Matthias trailed off there, he was trying to sound as less melodramatic as possible. As if he was telling a joke, but it was obvious that he was distraught by it. "I can't remember, I woke up in the hospital with a lump on my head, my parents told me I fell." Matthias' voice was getting lower and lower everytime he spoke. "I was crying, because i was having nightmares ever since it happened, I didn't know what happened then.."

"Matthias?"

"Lukas..I think I was raped."

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OK, so, this chapter took a dark turn. I don't know, I'm beginning to feel this was unnecessary. Tell me what you think, did I introduce it properly? I would appreciate hints about this subject. Should I scrap the entire idea? Tell me your thoughts.


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